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Being Assertive - becoming more Empowered
I am frequently coaching my clients on the steps to becoming more assertive and therefore
being more empowered.
I like to give my clients the "supermarket" assertiveness exercise - which means starting
being assertive in less threatening situations: eg a shop/supermarket - and then moving up
to more challenging 'people' - eg employers/loved ones.
even (!) when their service is bad or disrespectful?
Do you ever
walk away thinking I wish they had treated you better?
By practicing in less threatening situations we then can become more masterful in the art
of asserttiveness! Note: in the beginning we may sound 'aggressive' - so just play with it
(your way of expressing yourself) until it becomes smooth and tactful!
Have fun being assertive!
Want some more tips? see all the Happinesss Video clips:
--click here --
We all have to do things we don't want to, but if you often end up in situations you'd rather
avoid, feel uncomfortable with, or in which you are taken for granted. it's time to start using
the “N” word.
Doing things that only satisfy the needs of others damages your self-esteem, and, what's
more, that nice little martyr act only leads to seething resentment. Which leads to brain
explosions. And then all those demanding friends, colleagues, lovers and relatives end up
asking, "What happened? You used to be nice!"
The thing is you are nice. Nice people can set boundaries, too. If you have to, tell yourself
out loud, "It's okay to say no to a road trip with the in-laws/lending money to the boss/letting
my friend camp on my floor for two weeks." Your needs and wants are just as important as
It takes practice. So start small. Say no to the windscreen washer or telemarketer. Then say
no to a friend. Then a co-worker. Focus on what you could be doing if you refused. So if that
co-worker asks you to help her out with her work, think about the report you're supposed to
finish today. Explain your reasons for not helping her and stand your ground.
Now work your way up to the person who scares you the most. It might be the boss.
It could be your mum. But remember that saying no is a lot like quitting smoking: now it's
hard but not quitting is harder. The sooner you start saying no, the easier it will be - for everyone.
Credit to Kate Duthie - Sunday Life
Go on, let go, don’t wait – now is the moment to soar, fly, laugh, play,
and to be open and to rejoice in your wonderful uniqueness!
Enjoy yourself! Create your relaxed and happy life!