Be more assetive and empowered.  Expert tips/insights by leading Australian Psychologist Geoff Favaloro.




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Being Assertive - becoming more Empowered

I am frequently coaching my clients on the steps to becoming more assertive and therefore

being more empowered.

I like to give my clients the "supermarket" assertiveness exercise - which means starting

being assertive in less threatening situations: eg a shop/supermarket - and then moving up

to more challenging 'people' - eg employers/loved ones.

In the supermarket/shop make sure your wishes are met - do you ever keep quiet/apologize

even (!) when their service is bad or disrespectful?

Do you ever walk away thinking I wish they had treated you better?
If so, these are the times that we are challenged to and can change our behaviour/outcomes

by speaking up!

By practicing in less threatening situations we then can become more masterful in the art

of asserttiveness! Note: in the beginning we may sound 'aggressive' - so just play with it

(your way of expressing yourself) until it becomes smooth and tactful!


       Have fun being assertive!  

       Want some more tips? see all the Happinesss Video clips:  --click here --

I also can recommend the following:


We all have to do things we don't want to, but if you often end up in situations you'd rather

avoid, feel uncomfortable with, or in which you are taken for granted. it's time to start using

the N word.

Doing things that only satisfy the needs of others damages your self-esteem, and, what's

more, that nice little martyr act only leads to seething resentment. Which leads to brain

explosions. And then all those demanding friends, colleagues, lovers and relatives end up

asking, "What happened? You used to be nice!"

The thing is you are nice. Nice people can set boundaries, too. If you have to, tell yourself

out loud, "It's okay to say no to a road trip with the in-laws/lending money to the boss/letting

my friend camp on my floor for two weeks." Your needs and wants are just as important as

other people's.

It takes practice. So start small. Say no to the windscreen washer or telemarketer. Then say

no to a friend. Then a co-worker. Focus on what you could be doing if you refused. So if that

co-worker asks you to help her out with her work, think about the report you're supposed to

finish today. Explain your reasons for not helping her and stand your ground.

Now work your way up to the person who scares you the most. It might be the boss.

It could be your mum. But remember that saying no is a lot like quitting smoking: now it's

hard but not quitting is harder. The sooner you start saying no, the easier it will be - for everyone.

Credit to Kate Duthie  - Sunday Life



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