Being Assertive - becoming more Empowered

I am frequently coaching my clients on the steps

to becoming more assertive and therefore being more empowered.

I like to give my clients the "supermarket" assertiveness exercise - which means starting being assertive in less threatening situations: eg a

shop/supermarket - and then moving up to more challenging 'people' - eg employers/loved ones.

In the supermarket/shop make sure your wishes are met - do you ever keep quiet/apologize even (!) when their service is bad or disrespectful?

Do you ever walk away thinking I wish they had treated you better?

If so, these are the times that we are challenged to and can change our behaviour/outcomes by speaking up!

By practicing in less threatening situations we then can become more masterful in the art of asserttiveness! Note: in the beginning we may sound 'aggressive' - so just play with it (your way of expressing yourself) until

it becomes smooth and tactful!

       Have fun being assertive!   Geoffrey

want some more tips? see my Free Youtube clip

                    --click here --

I also can recommend the following:

We all have to do things we don't want to, but if you often end up in situations you'd rather avoid, feel uncomfortable with, or in which you are taken for granted. it's time to start using the “N” word.

Doing things that only satisfy the needs of others damages your self-esteem, and, what's more, that nice little martyr act only leads to seething resentment. Which leads to brain explosions. And then all those demanding friends, colleagues, lovers and relatives end up asking, "What happened? You used to be nice!"

The thing is you are nice. Nice people can set boundaries, too. If you have to, tell yourself out loud, "It's okay to say no to a road trip with the in-laws/lending money to the boss/letting my friend camp on my floor for two weeks." Your needs and wants are just as important as other people's.

It takes practice. So start small. Say no to the windscreen washer or telemarketer. Then say no to a friend. Then a co-worker. Focus on what you could be doing if you refused. So if that co-worker asks you to help her out with her work, think about the report you're supposed to finish today. Explain your reasons for not helping her and stand your ground.

Now work your way up to the person who scares you the most. It might be the boss. It could be your mum. But remember that saying no is a lot like quitting smoking: now it's hard but not quitting is harder. The sooner you start saying no, the easier it will be - for everyone. Credit to Kate Duthie  - Sunday Life